An honest gaze into the Devil's mirror
“... the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for ...”
― Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First
Every day we experience a bombardment, shelled by varying degrees of crazy meant to paralyze and smother us into a state of apathy, a state governed by the Noonday Demon, who deprives us of our ability to take action when necessary.
“… the destruction that wastes at noonday”1 has taken many victims, myself included.
Procrastination, carelessness, indifference, these are but a few of the sentences spelled out by this daytime ruler of despair, offering us the temptation to say “so what” or give into non-action in favour entropy. How often are we hooked by these seductive lures when presented with images of hopelessness, chaos and futility?
There’s a story I heard long ago, and for the life of me I can’t remember where it’s from, and of course I can’t find it now so if this sounds familiar please let me know, but it’s a story about a knight who was summoned by God to defeat the Devil’s army.
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In a distant world in a distant time, there was a small farm village protected by an army of knights. One day, working in the fields, a young farmer heard a divine and urgent message from God, which only he could hear.
“The Devil is raising an army that will destroy your village and the entire kingdom. No man, woman or child will survive, but I have chosen you for a special plan. With my blessing, you will become the most skilled knight in the kingdom and defeat the Devil’s army, but you must train everyday and prepare for battle.”
Through divine inspiration, the young farmer became a knight. Everyday he trained and bled, pushing himself to his limits. After relentless years, he was recognized indisputably as the most skilled knight, not just in the village, but within the entire kingdom. The monarchy declared him the defender of the realm and gave him command of the army through royal assent.
Then one fateful day the Devil’s army appeared, just as God foretold, but the royal army was prepared and ready to defeat the Devil.
However, the Devil requested a parlay and upon a quiet hill between the two armies, the knight met with the Devil alone. And this is what the Devil had to say.
“I don’t know how you knew about my plans, but you will surely defeat me if we do battle. Many will die on both sides and the village will be destroyed, so I’m willing admit defeat and promise to never return. In exchange, I’ll grant you a device to show you whatever you desire.”
The knight paused as he took this into consideration. The Devil was proposing a treaty of peace and no soul would perish. Upon careful consideration, the knight agreed, but warned the Devil to keep his promise and never return. Then the Devil’s army retreated and the knight was left with a mirror as exchange. The village and kingdom celebrated and rejoiced! For they had evaded destruction with not a single life taken, all thanks to the knight and his agreement with the Devil.
The knight returned home with the Devil’s mirror and placed it in his room. After staring into its reflection, it gradually shifted, changing into his deepest desires. What the mirror shown back was something to behold, beautiful women and unlimited delights. The knight was amazed and couldn’t look away, for it showed him everything he had ever desired. His training continued. Day in and day out, but every day he would stare into the mirror, stare at his deepest desires. With the threat gone, the knight trained a little less, and less, and less, every day starring into the mirror.
Eventually, the knight stopped training and gazed deeper into the mirror. Seasons passed along with the years, and the kingdom and village knew a long standing peace. The knight continued to stare and became lost in his desires.
However one fateful day, the Devil’s army returned, but the royal army and its leader were weak and unprepared, so the knight requested a parlay.
Upon a quiet hill between the two armies, the knight met with the Devil alone. And this is what the knight had to say.
“You broke your promise, our treaty of peace, why are you here to make war?”
And the Devil replied “I am the Devil and lying is what I do.”
The knight, weak, unprepared and saturated by desire, fell into a pit of despair. Despite his training he was now unready, fragile and ripe for defeat. Sulking at his failure, he paused and wagered with the Devil “will you still show me whatever I desire.”
And the Devil replied “always.”
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Although I remember the story being more descriptive, I was disturbed when I first heard it. While I can’t say I’ve experienced the certainty of receiving a direct message from God, I have experienced inspiration that was delayed, distracted and even ignored through the lures and hook of a screen, as I’m sure anyone reading this has.
What divine inspiration has been thwarted by the Devil’s mirror and its afflictions?
Acedia, the formal term describing lack of care, listlessness and indifference, was once considered a deadly sin, but has since been folded into the sin of sloth, losing its distinct meaning and unique implications. Laziness is not necessarily apathy, but apathy does influence where we direct our energies and attention.
Digital black mirrored screens show us whatever we desire, and anyone with eyes to see, ears to hear and a functioning brain can see the Devil’s army on the horizon; an army that takes on many forms. Our borders are unenforced, our food and health systems are a fraud, our education system is something beyond the darkest horror fiction, and government is more dystopian and totalitarian than ever before.
Are you training and putting your inspiration into practice each day?
This is my honest gaze, I’m a sinful soul with a wicked inner spirit.
Strangely enough, after all these years, I feel like I’m paying for some forgotten esoteric crime, and I can’t pretend to be perfect and imagine myself as a gleaming angel of light, because yes, I too stare into the mirror that shows me all my desires, and I too become lost and separated from my inspiration.
Lying, manipulating and wanting absolute control, these are the vices from that wailing wicked inner spirit, which serves penitence through trials and tribulations; a sentence for those forgotten esoteric crimes. Redemption and reform are given through a conscious that intensely experiences the sufferings of others, acting like a painful shock collar on a dangerous prisoner. But there’s a glimmer of hope, even for me, an imprisoned sinful soul tempering the gnashings of a wicked inner spirit.
If you were the knight who succumbed to your vices, could your conscious permit surrender? For me, I’d have no choice but to keep going, like a walking corpse. But maybe we’re different, and if so, shape up and get on training your divine inspiration. And if not, get over it and keep going, because there really is no other choice. We’re at war with the Devil’s army, and we’re not doing too well. There’s no Gnosis get out of jail free card, and hedonism and ignorance drops you into a deeper cell.
Despite the lures and hook of the Noonday Demon, we can still keep going.
This attitude is fitting for New Year’s resolutions, those cliché commitments made for next year to change undesired traits or continue good habits.
Resolution has an interesting etymology, it means “back solving” in the mathematical sense or “to separate into components” in the sense of physical processes. But I think a more appropriate interpretation, relative to New Year’s resolutions, is to interpret re- as “again” meaning to “solve again,” because that’s what New Year’s resolutions end up being, solutions we try again, but never worked in the first place.
Instead, I’d like to drop the re- all together. So, what are my New Year’s solutions?
Effort and prudence in the present can prevent disaster and turmoil in the future, because fixing a leak now is a lot cheaper than replacing a wall later. Despicable foreign conflicts, maddening domestic unrest and unrelenting inflation, our futures have never been more uncertain, and it’s easy to give into apathy and despondence when these problems feel remote and out of our control.
If you believe circumstances are hopeless and impossible, then solutions liken to the same and also become hopeless, impossible and out of reach. What we believe is a false reflection of reality, usually some state of possibility and necessity. But within ourselves, we can change those states in an instant, because the inability to make a difference is another seductive and poisonous lie we foolishly swallow.
Like a seed, circumstance only changes once change germinates from within.
I have a very limited ability to influence others, except through my causal Substack Creed Thoughts, so the only solutions I have begin at home, primarily addressing inflation, but in general reflect the theme of self-sufficiency. These goals can be romantically described as “going off-grid,” but anyone with enough experience recognizes how impractical and idealistic the totality of that phrase is. However, I find it useful to describe specific goals compounding that phrase, such as “going off-grid with potatoes,” “going off-grid with chicken,” “going off-grid with pet supplies,” etc. Some of these goals are more realistically described as “going 70% off-grid with chicken,” which is an achievable goal, unlike the catch-all “going off-grid with food.” Yeah, I wish.
I know historically my family achieved “going off-grid with potatoes,” which is a good starting goal because it encompasses a simple class of food preservation methods, including freezing and cold storage, because those with experience will recognize that canning and dehydrating is a lot of work. Again, romantic to do a full year’s supply all at once, but cold storage is relatively simple. I use the moist sand method, and working with potatoes makes room for other root vegetables as well, like carrots.
However, “going off-grid with chicken” is a tad more ambitious, and it’s likely more reasonable to aim for “going 70% off-grid with chicken,” not including feed, which is a separate beast all together. This goal includes layers (i.e., eggs), which is simple enough, but also meat chickens, which encompasses processing and preserving meat.
The last goal “going off-grid with pet supplies” I possibly have figured out, because I discovered my cats will use sand and wood pellets for litter, which I can purchase in bulk with a load of sand and potentially use fine wood chips / sawdust, effectively never having to buy expensive cat litter again. However, the challenging part is attempting to replace their food, because they’re picky bastards who are getting older, but that may be possible if I can find a recipe using chicken by-products from the previous goal, which eliminates waste, saves money and makes for warm happy soft kitties.
These self-sufficiency goals, my New Year’s solutions, are only achievable through small daily steps, and by resisting the temptation to sink into apathy while being honest that my immunity to the Noonday Demon has its limits. In my opinion, this is the most practical mindset when seeking positive circumstantial change.
Of course, these goals never truly end. Each year builds off prior successes or failures, but these achievements will allow our household to reallocate money, that gradually loses its purchasing power, to items we can’t easily produce. This scheme also provides the flexibility to experiment with different techniques, systems and methods for growing, preserving and processing food. Ideally, I would like to overproduce vegetables and either donate the surplus, or honour system them at the end of the driveway, which may help foster local relationships. Again, I won’t know until I try.
We all have our callings and must persist to bring our inspiration to fruition, despite our addictions to the Devil’s mirror, because ruin awaits us, brave knights of this realm, if we succumb to inaction and become paralyzed by desire and indifference.
I still have hope for the future and I encourage you to never vanquish that light.
Great post, Theodore. I think everyone feels the temptation to laziness, to waste away dissipating our talents in return for the comfort of television, internet, watching sports, etc. I know I do. It's hard, challenging and scary to follow inspiration, and there is a feeling of both surrender to the process/inner voice and being alone when following it.
When you wrote, "Strangely enough, after all these years, I feel like I’m paying for some forgotten esoteric crime, and I can’t pretend to be perfect and imagine myself as a gleaming angel of light" I can't help but think of Schopenhauer on this topic: "As a reliable compass for orienting yourself in life nothing is more useful than to accustom yourself to regarding this world as a place of atonement, a sort of penal colony. When you have done this you will order your expectations of life according to the nature of things and no longer regard the calamities, sufferings, torments, and miseries of life as something irregular and not to be expected but will find them entirely in order, well knowing that each of us is here being punished for his existence and each in his own particular way."
I hope you accomplish your goals toward self-sufficiency this upcoming year. Keeping your head down and focusing on each step of the process is definitely the right approach, otherwise the big goals can be overwhelming.
..truth is a mighty sword, the handle is filled with hope...and hope dies last. Thank you, Theodore for your inspirational historical writings. They are so appreciated.